Am I Green Fatigued?

Last night I was ready for a punch up. I had to endure half an hour of some pillock smugly reeling off the steps he was taking to save the planet and stop global warming. By the end of his ramblings I wanted to ram a penguin down his north and south.

Then it was suggested that I was suffering from "Green Fatigue". What? I haven't got a garden.

The experts went through the symptoms.
1) If you throw a bottle in a bin instead of a recycling the receptacle do you feel guilty? - Absolutely not!
2) Do you feel guilty about the level of your carbon foot print? - Don't know what one is so definately not!
3) Are you worried about the melting ice caps? - Christ no!
4) Rising temperatures? - Don't like cold winters anyway!
5) Government response and Media reaction? - YES YES YES!!!

I tried to enlighten the Green Doctor of certain specifics that immediately came to mind.

"Like everyone else, I am concerned about recycling to a degree because the land fill sites in Derbyshire are pretty full - but I'm sick of the government using things like The Stern Review to tax me on issues they should have sorted out ten years ago when they had the chance. Plus, we're encouraged to trade and travel globally - shouldn't government and big business shoulder most of the blame for fostering this situation?"

"Before Tony Blair gets on his green high horse, would he care to answer how large a carbon footprint has been left by his prolonged and futile search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?"

"Media hype sensationalising scientific reports warning of impending global catastrophe. It seems that in order to be heard, each new report shouts its message of doom louder than the last one."

"Scientists guilty of hyping the more sensational elements of their studies to ensure publication and future funding."

The Green Doctors cures were simple.
1) Biodegradable poo bags for the hound
2) Organic pet food
3) I haven't got any pets so it was suggested I adopt one.
4) Take to the streets on an environmental protest
5) Plant a tree
6) Eat local produce

The only cure that seemed to make sense was one I was already taking - Beef Chow Mein from the Chinese in Ashbourne, i assume that is classed as local produce.

Solution-I went and smacked the pillock who started all of this in the first place.

Chris Sabian, Peak District View - 2007-03-14 12:03:40

Derbyshire school leads the recycling way

Eco-school Bamford Primary has become one of the highest voluntary sector contributors to Derbyshire's recycling efforts.

The school's monthly paper collection has raised over £23,000 since it was launched in November 1995 and over 520 tonnes of paper collected.

The paper collection - which in recent years has been run by parent Clive Hobbs - is the brainchild of former PTFA Chair Tony Hodges.

He says: "The scheme has gone from strength to strength.

"Many local people who have no direct involvement with the school now save their paper for our famous first-Saturday-in-the-month collection and we've always been tremendously lucky to have plenty of willing volunteers to help load the paper into the collection lorry.

"It's fantastic to have raised so much money – and an added bonus to be making such a great contribution to Derbyshire/s recycling targets."

The extra funds have provided many extra improvements and initiatives and everyone involved should be congratulated in their efforts.

Chris Sabian, Peak District View - 2007-03-06 15:38:53